Gold is the standard, always has and always will be. Companies in times past gave a “gold watch” to those retiring. Athletes work hard to obtain the gold medal, elementary students worked for the gold star, executives negotiated their golden package coming into a corporation and their golden parachute upon exiting it. Gold is the standard for excellence. In religious circles many of us were taught The Golden Rule:
“Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” While the Golden Rule is a good standard by which we deal with others, for 2018 and beyond I’d like to propose a new thought.
Often in relationships, romantic and parenting, we tend to deal with others based upon our past perspectives and experiences. We hold back in love because we may have been spurned in the past, we often make current loves pay the taxes on our “exes” debts. In parenting, many of us parent our children based upon how we ourselves were parented, thinking we’ll do better, give better or be better to our kids than our parents were to us. However, parenting and loving from the past mistakes of others is a sure-fire way to create more problems in your present and future relationships. Other than our behavior, our children and our current lovers have no frame of reference as to how we have been loved and parented or not loved and parented … they didn’t create our issues. That is why forgiveness is so important and necessary for us to do. Cleaning up our past is crucial to enjoying our present, for the present is really all we have, the here and now.
So today, here’s the question to think about and hopefully incorporate into our current and future relationships. Instead of parenting and loving based upon what we would want done to us, how about asking the golden question to our children, friends, or lovers, “what do you need from me.” Instead of treating others how you want to be treated, how about treating them the way they want to be?
“What do you need from me?”