I logged onto my blog today with the mind to write and saw in my drafts three posts I had started earlier, but had not completed. One post is dated January 8, 2014, another July 9, 2014 and the third, which is the heart of the matter today, dated July 28, 2014. What was I going through in July that I didn’t finish the assignment? Well, as I began to read the post dated July 28, 2014, it was entitled “Hidden Spaces.” I began telling about the process of putting my house on the market and preparing it for staging. I detail how I basically kept my house in a “staged” setting all the time that the realtor didn’t have much to do in terms of suggestions or adding additional pieces. My house was already “staged.” Emotionally, I was going through a lot during that time. I was still figuring out how to deal with the loss of my father and the resulting aftermath that death usually reveals in family structures. I was still recuperating from a foot that I had broken three months earlier. My world “felt like” it was spinning out of control and, instead of stopping and becoming still, rather than speaking to the raging winds, I allowed fear to take over until those winds gained more momentum resulting in a fully formed, havoc wreaking tornado in my life.
What was the crux of that post that the enemy didn’t want me to share? Well, I began to confess that during the process of making sure my home would photograph well, I strategically placed some items in closets, or upstairs where I knew no one would see things or even just moving some items to the floor out of the area to be captured by the photographers lens. You see, there were things that I didn’t want to be visible. But hey, that was just the first stage of hiding, oops I means staging (lol). After the house listing went live and eventually a contract was placed on it, I then had the task of preparing to box up my life for the new owners to take possession. I had to go into those closets, into those chest of drawers and other places that held either things and memories I was refusing to let go of or was just simply not ready to deal with. I was holding on to many photographs, cards, letters and notes written from admirers, “friends” and lovers …. I was holding on to pictures and cards of trips taken to Paris and London, Montreal, Quebec City and various tropical destinations of people, situation and things I thought I had let go. I was forced to clean out those hidden spaces. But did I really clean them out? Thus the reason why the post couldn’t be written two years ago. I simply re-packed them and allowed them to stay in storage …. I stored them back into some hidden spaces. They were definitely out of sight, but those memories had tentacles securing themselves in hidden spaces of my heart and were not out of my mind.
A week ago one of those hidden desires surfaced and in such a way that I could not ignore its presence. I reached out to a friend to discuss what I was physically feeling and I wanted to do something about it and I began to make plans. But, many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that will prevail (Proverbs 19:21). I was forced to sit with those feelings for what seemed like an eternity. I tried to sleep and couldn’t, I eventually took my daughter to an outside movie venue in an effort to get out of my head and in touch with my heart. The next day I spent even more time in another very public setting to get outside of my head and into my heart. After a week of silence and seeking His guidance, I was able to learn that this was spiritual …. I had given ground to something and for about twenty years had allowed it to lay dormant in a crevice of my heart and God wanted it to be dealt with. Now I’m presented with how will I choose to deal with it …. (i) allow it to fully come up for examination and healing, (ii) act on it or (iii) stuff it down even deeper just because I didn’t like what I was being shown?
When God has a call for you, when there’s a work for you to do, He needs to show you all of you. Why? Simple. When there’s no enemy within, no enemy without can do you harm. I Timothy 3 outlines qualifications for overseers or those desiring those positions and speaks of a proving that needs to take place. If we’re to be honest, clearly we can see from scripture that many have called themselves into positions and have not been called of God. Thus the warning given in I Timothy 5:22 …. many have partaken in the sins of others because they were either ordained too quickly or given positions for which there had been no call. In the Bible, Moses’ first set of 40 years he learned what it was to be somebody; his second set of 40 years, he learned what it was to be a nobody; in his third set of 40 years, he would now walk into his call. He was built up to be broken down so that he would come to learn who he really was. But yet we get excited when we hear eight, ten and twelve year olds who learn to hoop like their elders and place them in positions where no building or breaking has even had time to occur.
Matthew 4 details the three great temptations presented to Jesus in his ordeal with Satan. Yet, I’m certain in Christ’s 33 years of living he encountered more because it says after Jesus resisted him, when the devil had finished all this tempting, he left until a more opportune time. But in John 14:30 we read a statement of Christ’s victory …. the prince of this world cometh AND he has nothing in me. Jesus lived in submission to the Father. In order for us to resist our enemy, we have to first allow God to expose the hidden spaces of our hearts through submission, nevertheless not my will but Your Will God. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts and see if there be ANY wicked way in me. The enemy knew that of all the disciples he could tempt to betray Christ, he could definitely appeal to Judas. Why? Judas had been stealing from the treasury all along; he was already a thief. The enemy only used what was already in him.
If we’re to walk effectively in our callings, we have to allow the Holy Spirit to illuminate and we freely clean out those hidden spaces in our hearts; the carnal mind is an enemy to God. If you’re His sheep, Psalm 139 and Psalm 23 should take on newer meanings to us today. His sheep know His voice and another they will not follow … He leads in paths of Righteousness for His name’s sake. Disciple, what is hidden in you …. what can your enemy appeal to? What areas of your life have you perfected and staged so that you appear whole? God wants to save us, even from ourselves!
John 8:32 (KJV) And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.